Three hundred and sixty five.
That is the number of days that we have been without Darin in this life. I have thought of him every single one of those days. We've gone through a year and that means that we've had our first set of holidays without him, first birthday celebrations without him… Christmas is now past, the first Christmas we had without Darin.
That is what makes me sad, when I think about all of the things in the future that he won't be here for. That thought is very overwhelming.
We went to Weiser for Christmas again this year. I went back and forth on the travel plans a lot, I didn't know if Weiser was the last place I wanted to be, or the only place.
I am glad that we went and spent the time surrounded by our family.
It was healing to be there and be able to celebrate together with the people who can relate the most to how I feel.
Holidays will forever be bitter sweet for me.
We laughed and had fun. We remembered good times that we had with Darin and I know that is what he wants us to do. Darin was the definition of fun and living life to the fullest. So that is how I try to approach my days.
"Happy. Happy. Happy!" -Darin
Living my life with smiles and joy, finding things to celebrate every day, and being grateful for all of my blessings. Especially that promised blessing of eternal families given to those who try and be a better person than they were the day before. That is what I try to do.
We made this for my parents for Christmas:
He always said that. Thanks to my little brother for reminding us that finding joy in the journey is so important! He must have taken notes from a prophet...
"In all of living, have much fun and laughter. Life is to be enjoyed, not just endured."
-Gordon B. Hinckley
