Thoughts

I am not good at writing, but I like to write. I am not good at describing my emotions or talking through feelings, but I feel as if I need to. My mom suggested that I just write what comes to mind, and told me that it is ok if it isn't worded perfectly or if it doesn't make sense… so here is a glimpse at was is on my mind. Only a glimpse, because my head has been constantly overflowing with thoughts lately, it would be impossible to type everything.

It's been almost three weeks since my heart felt as if it had been shattered.

I miss my brother. 

I wish heaven had a phone line, so I could talk to him. 

 That sick feeling I had for days went away, I wondered when it would. I am grateful for the peaceful feeling that is now there instead.

My dad gave me a blessing and it brought me peace. I am thankful for the power of the priesthood and for the amazing men in my life that hold that power, and honor it, so that I can hear words of comfort directly from my Father in Heaven.

My testimony of our Heavenly Father's plan gives me hope. I know I will see my brother again. I am so thankful for that knowledge. I know that Darin is ok. I know that he wants me to be happy. 

I still cry.

 I know that is ok too.

This experience has made me a different person. It is hard to explain, but I feel changed. My thoughts have changed, my perspective has changed too.

I want be a better person.

I am grateful for the family that I have, all of them. They are awesome. We help each other, we hold each other up. I love that.

Each day, I start over and my heart heals a little bit more. 

Time doesn't make days easier (whoever came up with that saying was so wrong) Instead, I think that each day I am stronger.

Families are Forever

My younger brother, Darin, was killed in a car accident Saturday evening the 28th, along with his best friend, Chris, who was riding with him. They were driving back from the Boise Temple when they crossed the highway center line and were hit head-on by a semi truck.

We received this devastating news the night we got home from the Syme's cabin. The Idaho State Police came to my dad's house, where we were staying, and told us of the accident. 

I felt as if my heart was shattered into a million pieces. 

I love my little brother so much. I feel blessed with the honor of being his sister. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have of eternal families, it brings peace to my soul. I know that I will get to see Darin again. Heaven gained an amazing man. We will all miss him very much!  

Here is a link to my sister's blog where you can read Darin's life sketch and some of our favorite memories of him:

http://bradandtifaniwallace.blogspot.com/2014/01/darin-frank-thomas.html

Sledding at the Syme's Cabin

We drove up the the Syme's cabin today for an early birthday celebration for Kirsten. We had fun sledding and playing in the snow.

Weiser Christmas

Quincy got this cute hat from my mom. Aunt Tif is helping him try it on.

This is my mom and Clayton dancing to the music, it was too cute to pass up the picture opportunity even if it's blurry:

Clayton got this Buzz Lightyear and carried it everywhere for few days… He fell asleep in the car like this…

Quincy taking a bath in Grandma Thomas' kitchen sink

Shades!

Peace on Earth

Merry Christmas!! 

We spent Christmas day at our own house this year. It was the perfect Christmas with our little dudes, it was nice to spend the day as a family. We are headed to Weiser tomorrow for more Christmas celebrations with my side of the family.

Clayton's Tree

Today we went on a hunt for a tiny Christmas tree for Clayton. He is really into decorating this year and we wanted him to have his very own tree to decorate and redecorate as much as he wanted. 

We found the perfect tree about a foot off the side of the road. It was right in front of a national forest maintenance station where a forest service person lived, Sean was worried about getting caught cutting the tree down right in front of them. He pulled the car over so it was blocking the tree and cut it down with a sawzall in less than 30 seconds and threw it in the back of the car… It was hilarious! I was laughing so hard that I was crying! He was saying "I'm going to get arrested for cutting down a tiny little 3 foot tree!" Maybe you had to be there … it was so funny.

Here is Clayton's tree that he decorated all by himself:

The thing at the bottom is a rice bag. It is to keep it from falling over :)

Here is a little size comparison for you:

He is so proud of his little tree!

Snowflakes

We made paper snowflakes today to hang on our window. Clayton loved it! He sat on the floor for an hour just cutting paper into tiny little pieces. Quincy was entertained watching his big brother make a giant mess.

It's cold outside!

Yesterday the temperature high for the day was 12 degrees. It's cold.

We've been hanging out inside, as you might have guessed.

Here's what we have been up to:

We play with kitchen bowls on our heads...

We sword fight with plastic swords and wooden spoons… pants are optional.

Clayton has spent the majority of the last few days naked or half naked because it ups his odds of making it to the potty without going in his pants.

He practices sitting on his potty while watching movies.

Quincy jumps in his jumper or hangs out in his saucer, but no longer likes his swing or bouncer because he likes to be sitting up more where he can see all the crazy going on!

This is a picture of Buzz Lightyear in time-out… Clayton put him there, after about 10 seconds he said that Buzz was done and he wanted to play with him again. Apparently Buzz learned his lesson. :) 

We got to go to school with Dad one night and hangout while he did some homework in the computer lab. We were only there for about 15 minutes, but now Clayton thinks that school is playing a "Wild Kratts" game on the computer...