Thoughts

I am not good at writing, but I like to write. I am not good at describing my emotions or talking through feelings, but I feel as if I need to. My mom suggested that I just write what comes to mind, and told me that it is ok if it isn't worded perfectly or if it doesn't make sense… so here is a glimpse at was is on my mind. Only a glimpse, because my head has been constantly overflowing with thoughts lately, it would be impossible to type everything.

It's been almost three weeks since my heart felt as if it had been shattered.

I miss my brother. 

I wish heaven had a phone line, so I could talk to him. 

 That sick feeling I had for days went away, I wondered when it would. I am grateful for the peaceful feeling that is now there instead.

My dad gave me a blessing and it brought me peace. I am thankful for the power of the priesthood and for the amazing men in my life that hold that power, and honor it, so that I can hear words of comfort directly from my Father in Heaven.

My testimony of our Heavenly Father's plan gives me hope. I know I will see my brother again. I am so thankful for that knowledge. I know that Darin is ok. I know that he wants me to be happy. 

I still cry.

 I know that is ok too.

This experience has made me a different person. It is hard to explain, but I feel changed. My thoughts have changed, my perspective has changed too.

I want be a better person.

I am grateful for the family that I have, all of them. They are awesome. We help each other, we hold each other up. I love that.

Each day, I start over and my heart heals a little bit more. 

Time doesn't make days easier (whoever came up with that saying was so wrong) Instead, I think that each day I am stronger.